I confess: I love grocery shopping.
Well, maybe love is a bit of a strong statement but it’s something that I have learned to find pleasure in. I’m grateful I’ve cultivated the ability to enjoy the process for a multitude of reasons.
We eat a majority of our meals at home, JB takes his lunch when he goes into the office, and we’ve realized that eating out leads to disappointment in quality, cost, or both.
The grocery store is a also a great place for people watching. And a way to fill my creative well as I glance in the carts of other shoppers to figure out what they plan to do with the ingredients gathered there.
A favorite pastime when we travel is to go into a local grocery store and see how it differs from my stores at home. What do the differences - and similarities - tell me about the place? And about the people who call it home?
You also learn a lot about people, too. And as much as an extrovert as I am, that doesn’t always equate to finding pleasure in my fellow shoppers.
Maybe it’s always been this way, but people seem to be increasingly harried, hurried, and borderline aggressive.
Recently I was in Whole Foods Market. It was early as I had arrived as the store opened. My list wasn’t long, but still I took my time, leisurely strolling down each aisle.
And to be honest, part of the taking my time involves me examining prices. And cross checking other grocery store apps for comparison. I frequent pretty much every grocery store in our area, so if something is less expensive elsewhere, I usually wait.
As I approached the checkout, a man scooched in behind me in line. And I mean right behind me with his hand-held basket brushing against my back. I was never so happy than when my favorite cashier motioned to me and opened a new line.
I profusely thanked her. And we picked upon a conversation we have often: how impatient people seem to be. She hates tailgaters and has a bumper sticker the trolls them. I laugh and share how grateful I am that she saved me from the guy who was crowding me.
“I’m spending so much money at the grocery store these days, so I’m going to enjoy it. And that means not feeling rushed.” I tell her. And she laughs along with me.
A lady with what looks to be her grandson rushes in behind me as I am still unloading my groceries from the cart to the belt. The cashier and I continue to chat while I unload. All the while she is scanning and bagging.
The woman harrumphs and then says “I am in a big hurry.”
The cashier and I both turn to her. The woman sighs loudly, her grandson is too young to be embarrassed. The cashier tilts her head and says to me “Am I not allowed to have a conversation?!” I shrug as this ties to our conversation mere moments earlier about how everyone is in a hurry.
We continue to chat, but perhaps more softly than before, as she continues to scan and bag.
I pay and head out to the car. As I am loading the groceries into the back of the car I realize I have forgotten to buy honey.
I wish I could say this experience was unique, but it was not.
And it’s almost enough - almost - to keep me from enjoying something I am determined to find pleasure in.
I’m not sure if it’s the fault of the pandemic, rising costs, or just an overall sense of entitlement, but people have become less respectful of others in the aisles. And less than kind to the cashier, deli counter attendants, and butchers.
I’ve been bumped by carts because I wasn’t walking fast enough for the person behind me. And when I hear people rushing behind me, I try to step aside because I want to leisurely walk through the store and not feel rushed.
I’ve had people step up to the keypad while I was bagging groceries even though I had yet to pay and yet seem shocked when I ask them to step back to their cart so I can pay.
It’s become the norm rather than the exception.
So, why write about this particular incidence?
The aftermath.
Remember the honey I forgot to buy? Well, later that day I ran some additional errands: dry cleaners, wine shop, and post office. And I decided to pop in to get that honey. Back to my favorite cashier I went…
“I have to confess, I was upset until lunchtime about that lady.”
She went on to tell me that she refused to engage with her further beyond giving her the total of her order. And later asked her manager what she could have or should have said.
Her manager suggested something along the lines of “We aim to give friendly service here at Whole Foods.” She further went on to tell me: “You know, she’s come in here several times before. And every time she says she’s in a hurry. Maybe she just needs to learn to manage her time better.”
That was weeks ago and every time I come in we now joke about the incident.
In part, because humor is a good way to deal with stress, anxiety, and anger. And, in part, because my cashier friend is a good woman and decided “I’m not going to allow one constantly unhappy person make me feel bad.”
Look, I get that people are stressed out, probably more so since the beginning of the pandemic.
But, frankly, it’s rude. And it’s entitled. As if any one person’s time is so much more important than everyone else around them. And if you’re always in a hurry, maybe it’s time to take a good hard look at yourself in the mirror and determine if you’re using being busy as a way to numb or feel a sense of importance. Or if perhaps you need to take a good hard look at your time management.
No matter what the why behind the behavior, I just have a big problem with public facing workings being treated crappily by customers.
Perhaps, it’s because I think we all need to be a little kinder. And a lot more patient. And recognize that our bad mood shouldn’t result in lashing out at others. That we are responsible for our own happiness.
Or that just because you can whip out a credit card at the grocery store to pay for your purchases without blinking an eye doesn’t mean you’re better than the person checking you out.
I’m still determined to enjoy my trips to the grocery store. And I intend to do so despite my fellow shoppers. And maybe it gives me an opportunity to be a bit more empathetic. Because even I get wrapped up in my own little world sometimes. And recognize that unhappy people lash out. Even if it’s not OK behavior….
I don’t LOVE grocery shopping - or any shopping really anymore - but I try and use it as a way to practice what I preach, i.e, that we should all be more considerate towards one another because we’re all in this thing called life together.
I do feel your pain, however. It feels like there are a lot of people out there who are on the ragged edge of their tempers. I get it, times are hard and folks are hard pressed for lots of things like time, money, good health. I’m blessed to have enough of those, so I try to spread some cheer and human kindness around when I can. ❤️